One Question to Never Ask on a First Date

Here we go again. Meeting someone for the very first time. You’re armed with all the appropriate questions, ready to dive into a conversation, and then out of the blue you ask a question you should not have brought up. Cue record scratch. As your date hastily changes the subject and you awkwardly stare down at your barely touched beverage, you might want to pause for a second and consider approaching this admittedly disappointing experience in another way.

What if we chalked this up as a learning experience? It’s entirely possible to delve into your next first date with all the confidence in the world. Here’s how to navigate the situation and make sure you avoid asking that big no-no on date numero uno.

1. Bring up the Basics

We’ve all been there. Sometimes first dates feel more like a job interview. Your role is to figure out if you have anything at all in common with the person. So you start to dig in — not too deep, obviously, but just enough that you get an accurate feel for what they’re all about. It’s a good opportunity to find out what they enjoy. Are they sports junkies? Obsessed with true crime? Art lovers? Music enthusiasts? All of this is fair game for the all-important first date conversation.

2. Know What to Avoid

So what’s not the best question to ask when just meeting someone? That’s right: “Do you want kids?” For the great majority, dating is the means to an end. It’s the path to life partnership, and that means weeding out the best from the rest. It’s a process. But there’s a smart way to go about it. It can be more than a little alarming to hear your date ask about your biggest plans for the future in such an abrupt, pointed way. Stick with the lighter subjects to start before you venture into I-want-to-have-babies-with-you territory. Please.

3. Tread Carefully Moving Forward

If things continue to go well once you move past that first date, you might be tempted to finally dive headfirst into the big conversation. It’s crucial that you do so eventually — but not so fast. This isn’t a second date topic or even one for the third or fourth. The first few dates are warm-ups. They help you reach the point where it’s ultimately more comfortable to have a heavy-duty discussion. It gives you a chance to develop an instinctual impression of the person. Are they potential parent material? Do you feel good about the possibility of them being in your lives for the considerable future? Use what you’ve learned as your cues.

The beauty of using a dating app like heybaby is that you don’t have to worry about when to have that huge conversation. It’s the dating app for people who want kids or already have them — which means that big old checkbox is already ticked. A major thing you won’t have to wonder about when meeting somebody for a first encounter.

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