Moving past the small talk on the first date

If you’ve ever been an avid participant on dating sites, you have probably slogged through your fair share of first dates. You’ve dealt with the usual humdrum Q&A sessions that feel more like job interviews than getting-to-know-you chats. Been there, done that — possibly more times than you care to admit.

And let’s face it, single-parent dating can be downright challenging. It’s high time you escaped from the yawn-inducing clutches of first-date conversations. Save the small talk (and even the awkward silences) for your stylist or dentist (no offense to either). When you join a dating app for people who want kids, you expect something meatier yet not too heavy. Now isn’t the time to discuss the weather in great detail if you’re really interested in moving beyond those customary trappings of first-date chats.

So what’s best? How do you guide the flow so that it feels light yet meaningful? Can you delve deeper? Should you even bother on the first date? What’s key is letting the conversation flow naturally. Arming yourself with a list of tried-and-true questions that your well-meaning friend texted while you were driving to the café isn’t really the best way to go about it. Take advantage of being on a dating site for people who want kids or have kids (single parent dating isn’t easy) by keeping these alternatives in mind. 

Listen Closely

Before anything else, remind yourself that your date is numero uno at the moment, even if you’ve somehow already shelved the idea of a future together at first glance. (Note: Don’t do that — everyone on dating apps is doing their best and deserves a chance.) Your mind might be cluttered with thoughts, nerves, and anxieties, but the more you focus on what your date says, the more relaxed you’ll feel. It’s pretty easy to tell when someone isn’t paying attention, so don’t let that be the end of this potentially amazing first date. Listening affords you the chance to ask questions too. That’s the best way to spark an interesting conversation! Moral, keep your ears and mind open. 

Be Honest

Honesty is a great all-around policy, especially when it applies to online dating. Everyone tends to feel a little jittery, and it’s completely okay to bring that up if you want to break the ice. There’s something comforting about putting it out there instead of letting it float agonizingly over your heads while you struggle to come up with something clever to say. “It’s been a while since my last first date,” is fine, or even, “I’m a little nervous,” works well. Remember, this isn’t a job interview. Perfection isn’t what you’re after, especially when you’re trying to find a life partner. You want realness, authenticity, and openness — both in your date and in yourself.

Talk Dreams

The whole “what would you be doing if you weren’t doing what you do now?” question is common. But it’s also one of the most revealing questions you can ask of a person, and it steps a little into second-date territory because it allows your partner to provide more intimate details about their life. You’ll get a sense of what the person really loves, and people tend to enjoy delving into living-their-best-lives scenarios.

Joining a free dating site for people who have or want kids has the potential to be life-changing — especially because it helps break the ice right away and prevents those inane chats that leave you staring longingly at the exit door. The heybaby app makes it simple to connect with people who are already in your corner. Now that is a great start to any relationship.

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