Sometimes dating can be so awkward. Even if you’re as well prepared as the most notorious serial dater on the planet, you have to admit that some conversations make you want to sink into a hole in the ground — especially where the dreaded F word is concerned.
You want to talk about it, but… it’s tricky. Dropping the F-bomb (for purposes of this wonderful post, F = Family) is akin to blowing everything up if you aren’t careful about it. You want it, but do they want it too? Are you ready to take things to the next, next level?
If you’re about to bring up the Family word, you should, at the very least, be prepared for the response. Navigating serious topics that extend well beyond “what’s your favorite thing on Netflix right now?” is crucial if you want the relationship to go anywhere. And since it seems you have a very clear idea of what you want, here’s how to approach the conversation gracefully.
1. Be Direct About It
There’s no point being delicate about a subject that’s as important as raising a family together. Either they want kids or they don’t. Either they’ll be cool with the fact that you’re a parent already or they won’t. Let’s face it: You really don’t want to spend another minute with someone who isn’t on this page with you.
Family means everything, whether they already exist or you’re planning to have one in the future. And to plan for family means sorting out your priorities. Initiate the discussion sooner rather than later — not while getting to know them during the first date, maybe, but at least within the next week or so.
2. Prepare for the Answer
You need to be prepared for disappointment. The old “hope for the best, expect the worst” adage definitely applies in this situation. You may have stumbled upon someone you believe is the person of your dreams — the one you could imagine being your life partner, a future parent to your child, someone you could potentially introduce to your child.
So it can be downright crushing to hear the person say that they aren’t into the whole “F” thing and that they’re really more focused on other areas of life. The good news? You haven’t spent too much time with them so far if you bring up the subject early enough, which means you haven’t had enough time to grow too attached or committed to anything. Yes, it sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. Pick up and move on. There is definitely something better waiting for you.
3. Approach It More Lightly
You’ve tried and tried, but you just can’t get the words out. If you really cannot ask whether they’re interested in one day having a family of their own, then you can try the indirect approach. Granted, you run the risk of blowing your cover if you aren’t exactly known for your subtlety, but this is a good time to give it your best shot.
If you’re out shopping together, for example, and spot some cute kids’ clothing, you can comment about how you can’t wait to buy adorable shirts and dresses for your future kid. You can tell a lot by a person’s reaction. Are they really into the idea? Do they smile and agree? Or do they shoot you a shocked look and quickly end the date? That’s … pretty telling.
The heybaby app was designed specifically to prevent situations just like these. Whether you have kids or want them someday, you shouldn’t have to worry about trying to find someone who’s on the same page where the F word is concerned. To meet people in your situation who are ready to get to know you, join the heybaby dating app. You can skip to the fun part and start planning for the future.