Let’s face it, these days, there are so many dating apps to choose from — and most of them aren’t exactly full of people looking to settle down with “The One.” Finding the person you want to spend forever with is never easy, but with these 15 tips, you’ll be on the road to finding your soulmate.
1. Work on Yourself First
No matter how amazing we might be, there’s surely some baggage. Could be hang-ups from past relationships gone awry. Or personal goals we’ve neglected that hang over our heads. Regardless, being the best version of yourself will make it easier to find the one you’ve been looking for, and you’ll be better mentally and emotionally prepared to accept them when you do.
2. Don’t Let History Repeat Itself
There’s probably a reason your other relationships haven’t worked out, and it can be hard to sit and reflect on this kind of stuff. But figuring out where you’ve gone wrong in the past — whether it’s picking the wrong person or the way you approached the relationship — will make it easier to make better decisions going forward so you don’t ruin a good thing.
3. Make a List or Two
Take some time to think about what you want your life to look like and what you want from a partner. Figuring out the things that are truly important to you will help you weed out people who just won’t fit with the picture you want to paint. It’s a good idea to consider potential deal-breakers as well.
4. Be Flexible
…nothing is written in stone. Even if you have your lists, things change. And when you meet the right person, sometimes what seemed like a deal-breaker before may not bother you at all now. Be respectful of the fact that your needs and desires might change. It’s important to have a good idea of what you’re looking for before putting yourself out there, of course, but being willing to go with the flow is equally as important.
5. Be Honest From the Beginning
If there’s one thing that will sink your happily-ever-after before it even begins, it’s getting off on the wrong foot by being dishonest. Whether you’re discussing your past, present, or future, telling the truth will show you who’s interested in the real you. Plus, imagine the consequences if you actually do get serious with this person. How would you explain your way out of an epic lie? (“What? You’re not a marine biologist?)
6. Communication Is Key
Communication is one of the most important parts of a successful relationship — and also one of the most challenging. Maintaining clarity and honesty from the beginning will make both of your lives and your future relationship easier, trust us. When you’re looking to settle down, especially when kids will be involved, being open, honest, and clear with each other is essential.
7. Don’t Play Games
We’ve all been there, whether someone’s played games with us or we did it to someone else thinking it would make things more interesting or intense. If you’re interested, make it clear. Don’t wait days between responding to messages because you think it makes you look less desperate. If you’re not interested, respectfully say so and move on — and let the other person move on too.
8. Be Open-Minded
One of the hardest things about looking for love on online dating sites is that we tend to make snap judgments we wouldn’t necessarily make out in the “real” world. When you’re swiping at the speed of light, it’s easy to skip past someone who isn’t your immediate idea of a perfect 10. But keep in mind that so much of our attraction to someone comes from getting to know them. Take time to actually read someone’s bio before deciding you’re not interested in shooting them a message.
9. Don’t Expect Perfection, Even From Yourself
Just because someone is perfect for you doesn’t mean they’re a perfect person. News flash: There. Is. No. Such. Thing. We all have flaws, and that includes you and your future partner. So they may watch TV too loud and you may never replace the toilet paper roll. It doesn’t mean you’re not the perfect match.
10. Look for Someone With Common Interests
If you’re searching for someone to spend forever with, shared interests will make life together a lot more fun. That’s not to say you have to love all the same things, but a little bit of treading on the same ground can pave the way for some special moments. Whether you both can’t get enough of watching old sci-fi movies or you both love cooking and can’t wait to impress the other with an amazing meal, having that connection will go a long way.
11. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
It never hurts to have a second opinion (or third) when it comes to reviewing your online dating profile and pictures. Asking a friend or someone else who knows you well can help you put your best foot forward and make a good and honest first impression.
12. Don’t Rush Things
It may feel like your clock is running out to find the person of your dreams. Thinking that way will not only stress you out but also make you more likely to settle for someone just to avoid being alone. Take your time and don’t push yourself out of your comfort zone too much. Trying to force things won’t help you find “The One” any faster.
13. Get Creative With Your First Date
Having your first date over Zoom doesn’t have to be boring. Consider cooking a meal together as you follow along with the same recipe or watch one of your favorite movies and share a night of laughs. If you’re both fans of the same musician, stream a playlist of your favorite songs and turn down the lights, pretending you’re at a concert. (Remember concerts?)
14. Be Willing to Move On
Love at first sight or first conversation is rare, but if you’re just not feeling any sparks or seeing a serious future after spending a while getting to know someone, it may not be the relationship for you. If you’re really not feeling it, don’t feel bad about moving on. No one wants to waste time, and you’ll both be better off in the long run.
15. Don’t Give Up
You’ve done everything right and you’ve dedicated yourself to finding “The One” — and it still hasn’t happened. Does that mean it’s hopeless? Never. We can plan as much as we want to and take all the right steps, but we can’t choose when people come into our lives. When you’re talking about spending forever with someone, it’s worth the wait to find them.
Are you ready to find “The One”? Whether you’re already a father or can’t wait to become one, heybaby is an online dating app that helps connect you with a partner who’s looking for the same thing, saving time you could otherwise spend getting to know your soulmate.