Why Dating in San Francisco Can Feel So Soul-Crushing

The Bay Area is known for many things. Wine. Ocean. Mountains. But a great dating scene? Not so much. This isn’t to say you can’t possibly find The One in the throngs of wonderful people who live in San Francisco. It’s definitely an incredible city, and, as you might already know if you live here, there is always something fun to do.

So what’s the issue? Commitment-phobes? Horrible traffic? All of the above, plus the fact that dating in San Francisco presents its fair share of other challenges — so much so that it can feel, well, a little soul-crushing. Here’s some useful info to keep in mind as you navigate dating in SF.

1. Everyone Is Busy

The “I’m busy” excuse hits differently when you’re in San Francisco. It’s actually often true. People here work work work. And then they get themselves another double shot of espresso and work some more. When that’s temporarily off the table, they’re dabbling in their side hustle, then indulging in some much needed R&R — read: private time — when things quiet down for a second.

So while it may feel a little bit alarming and decidedly horrible when no one replies to your text right away, you can usually chalk it up to the old “I live in SF, so I am naturally preoccupied with something else” excuse. Odds are it’s legit (and yes, it can suck).

2. It’s Pretty Dang Cold

What? We’re going to blame the weather for people’s lack of dating ability? Turns out that’s really a good reason, though. San Francisco is always kind of chilly (and foggy). To live here is to have an intimate bond with puffy coats, turtlenecks, and boots year-round. Venture closer to the ocean and you’re talking downright cold weather. So it’s obviously not the optimal location to show some skin or dress in whatever helps you feel more like you’re in a dating state of mind.

Of course, that’s not really a great reason to shun the dating game entirely. But when it’s brisk and all you want to do is curl up at home and unleash your inner binge-watcher, you may not have much of a desire to venture out and meet someone new.

3. It’s Transplant City

There’s nothing strictly wrong with a city full of transplants. How cool to live in a part of the country where everyone seems to flock for one reason or another. On the other hand, if you’re hoping to meet the person of your dreams here, you may not want to hold your breath.

What’s the issue with transplants? Nothing at all, except that those people might not be super into the whole dating thing when they’ve specifically moved to the city because they landed a cushy job at a start-up or a tech company. That’s their focus, and that means dating may come in a distant second or third. So maybe you’ll meet someone, only to find out they’re kind of wishy-washy about the dating thing because, well, they’ve got other things on the brain.

The good news? If you have kids or want them, you can weed through the mess and join heybaby. We’ve just arrived in San Francisco, and we’re ready to try to make things just a little bit better for singles. Why worry about finding someone who’s like-minded? Our dating app makes it easy to connect with others who feel the same way you do, especially if you’ve been single in SF for a while now or have simply given up entirely on the idea of finding love in the Bay Area. Trust us: it’s possible!

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